Why Your Friend Group Needs a "Money Talk" (and How to Start It)
We talk to our friends about everything. Relationships, career stress, mental health, family drama—no topic is off limits.
Except money.
For some reason, talking about money with friends feels more uncomfortable than talking about literally anything else. We’d rather silently absorb the cost of covering someone’s share than have an honest conversation about finances. We’d rather feel resentful than risk seeming “cheap” or “uptight.”
But here’s the truth: avoiding money conversations doesn’t prevent problems. It creates them.
If you’ve ever felt anxious about suggesting an expensive activity, frustrated about always being the one who pays, or guilty about not being able to afford what your friends want to do—you need a money talk.
Here’s why it matters, and how to actually have the conversation without making things weird.
Why we avoid talking about money
Money is tangled up with so many uncomfortable feelings:
It feels taboo
We’re taught that talking about money is rude, tacky, or inappropriate. Asking someone about their salary or financial situation feels invasive. So we just... don’t.
We’re afraid of judgment
What if your friends think you’re cheap for not wanting to split an expensive dinner evenly? What if they think you’re showing off if you offer to cover things? What if they judge your spending choices?
We don’t want to seem “difficult”
It’s easier to just go along with whatever the group decides than to speak up and say, “Actually, that’s outside my budget.” Nobody wants to be the person who complicates plans.
We’re worried about the friendship
What if bringing up money makes things awkward? What if your friend gets defensive? What if it changes the dynamic?
So we stay silent. And the resentment builds.
The cost of silence
When you don’t talk about money with friends, here’s what actually happens:
Resentment builds quietly
You keep covering costs you can’t afford, or going along with expensive plans that stress you out. Every time it happens, a little resentment accumulates. Eventually, it affects how you feel about the friendship.
Assumptions fill the gap
Without actual conversation, everyone makes assumptions. Your friend assumes you’re fine with always covering the bill. You assume they’re taking advantage. Neither of you knows what the other is actually thinking.
Financial stress compounds
Trying to keep up with friends who have different financial situations is exhausting. You’re stressed about money, but you’re also stressed about hiding that you’re stressed about money.
Friendships suffer
Money issues that never get addressed don’t just go away—they fester. Eventually, you start avoiding hangouts, making excuses, or distancing yourself. The friendship suffers because you never had one honest conversation.
What a "money talk" actually looks like
A money talk doesn’t have to be a formal sit-down intervention. It’s just honest communication about financial boundaries and expectations.
Here’s how to start:
Pick the right moment
Don’t bring it up in the middle of a heated bill-splitting situation. Choose a calm, private moment—maybe over coffee or during a walk. The goal is to have a conversation, not to confront.
Lead with your own feelings and situation
Use “I” statements to talk about your experience, not “you” statements that sound accusatory:
“I’ve been feeling stressed about money lately, and I need to be more mindful of my budget.”
“I can’t afford to split things evenly when I’m not drinking. Can we do separate checks?”
Be specific about what you need
Vague statements don’t help. Be clear:
“I’d love to hang out, but I need to stick to activities under $30 right now.”
“I’m happy to go to that restaurant, but I’ll need to order on the cheaper side.”
Normalize different financial situations
Acknowledge that everyone’s financial situation is different, and that’s okay:
“I know we’re all in different places financially, and I think it’s important we’re honest about that.”
“I don’t want money to be a barrier to us spending time together.”
Suggest solutions, not just problems
Don’t just say what’s not working—offer alternatives:
“Instead of going out to dinner, what if we did a potluck at my place?”
“I’d love to do that trip, but I need to find a cheaper accommodation option.”
What if your friends react badly?
Here’s the thing: if you approach the conversation with honesty and care, most friends will respond with understanding. They might even be relieved that you brought it up.
But if a friend reacts with judgment, defensiveness, or dismissiveness? That tells you something important about the friendship.
Good friends want you to feel comfortable and respected. Good friends would rather adjust plans than make you feel stressed or excluded. Good friends care more about spending time with you than spending money.
If someone makes you feel bad for having financial boundaries, that’s not a you problem—it’s a them problem.
The money talk you don’t have to have
Here’s the best part: when you use tools that eliminate the awkwardness of money in the first place, you don’t need as many difficult conversations.
With Orbit, there’s no fronting money, no chasing payments, and no wondering if things are fair. Everyone pays their share in real time, automatically. The financial dynamics are transparent and equal from the start.
You can still have conversations about budget and what activities work for everyone. But you don’t have to have the awkward “you still owe me $47” conversation, because that situation never happens.
The bottom line
Your friendships are too important to let money issues fester in silence.
Having a money talk doesn’t mean you’re difficult, cheap, or high-maintenance. It means you value the friendship enough to be honest. It means you’d rather have a slightly uncomfortable conversation now than let resentment build for months.
And honestly? Most of the time, the conversation is way less awkward than you think it’ll be. Because chances are, your friends have been feeling the same tension—they just didn’t know how to bring it up either.
Ready for friendships without financial tension? Join the Orbit waitlist and experience group expenses that are automatically fair, transparent, and drama-free from the start.